Un cafe s’il vous plait mon-sewer

Sleep is a symptom of caffeine deprivation

Ordering coffee in France

Cafe in Paris

Cafe in Paris (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

The French drink very strong coffee called “un express” which is like an espresso here.

It’s the size of a thimble but has the bang of a double espresso and the consistency of mud

If you are in a café and the waiter says “un café monsieur?” he is asking if you want one of these things. If you say “oui s’il vous plait” that is what you will get. So be warned.

Here is what you order if you want something other than the strong mud in a thimble and remember to always say “s’il vous plait” when you order:

Long black:                                         un allongé (ung allonshay) s’il vous plait

Flat white:                                           grande crème (grond crem) s’il vous plait

Short black:                                         un express or un café  s’il vous plait

Espresso with double the water          café léger (kuh-fay lay-zjay) s’il vous plait

Cappuccino:                                        cappuccino (this may have whipped cream from a tin piled on it as the French don’t “get” cappuccinos)

Decaf                                                    Un déca (still just the mud in the thimble deal without the caffeine)

Hot chocolate                                      Un chocola show  s’il vous plait ( go to Angelina on rue de rivoli and order one and make sure you have not eaten before hand as they are sooooo filling and orgasmically good!)

English: Pastry and chocolat africain in the A...

Angelina café in Paris. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)


Be aware of one important thing. – if you want to go to a café and sit and order a coffee and or food you will be charged different prices depending on whether you sit

a)      On little chairs outside the café facing the street (en terrasse) – the most expensive but the nicest and a “must do once”

Only tourists do this so they charge about $20 for a coffee and a fizzy drink, but you can sit there for hours for the cost

b)      Seated inside the café on chairs indoors en salle

c)      standing at the bar as the Parisians do is the cheapest, the least comfortable and I can’t see why you’d bother except if you were a Parisian and this was your local caf and you were getting your caffeine fix whilst chatting to the barman in rapid French

Also, if you want a Fanta you ask for “un orangina” (pronounced : orange-eena)

Ask for “un Schweppes s’il vous plait ” which often works in procuring a lemonade

A coke is “un coca”

Diet coke is “un coca lite”

A beer is “une biere” They have “une pression” (pronounced “press-eon”) which is beer from the tap. It’s OK

They have a beer brand called Desperado which is beer with a tequila shot in it.  Nice

They also have Leff and Kronenbourg 1664 – which are Belgian beers and nice

As well as Stella Artois (Belgian) and Heineken of course


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