Romania – dietary restrictions

Potato, Polenta and Pork……….that’s what we seem to be served a lot of in the restaurants  over here.

We are all talking about our bowel movements (well most of us) as this diet is “interesting”. You have to watch the diet over here. Last night in Sibiu we had a traditional Romanian meal – a soup of  pigs-ear, then pork crackling deep fried, pickled peppers, cucumbers and onions, fatty pressed sausage, cold meats, a leathery inner sole that had once been chicken, the ubiquitous potato and polenta and for dessert – a deep fried donut. Hence the lack of Elle McPhersons over here. And probably why Demis Roussos is still hugely popular over here though sadly we shall just miss his concert in early April.

The Romanians love to serve you their traditional flatulent peasant dish which may have variants on the 3 P’s – (cabbage for example, or Pig’s Foreskin soup……. ) but hold out – not everywhere is like this.

We had a brilliant meal today in an ancient underground cellar with some friends. After fekn polenta, cucumber, pork and potato for 5 nights the chef today told us that really, only bogens/chavs/tourists eat that crap and cooked us a meal to DIE FOR!  We had sautéed mushrooms, a slow-cooked chicken stew, a real Summer salad, roasted veges and glorious greens!  We all groaned with pleasure. $10 still thank you.

The Romanians are heavily into Bio-organic or bio-dynamic food. Most of what one eats is not sprayed with anything noxious and comes from their own farms. The tomatoes taste like the ones Nonna used to grow and even the cucumber is crisp and juicy and has a great taste!

There is also a lot of athleticism in some parts. Our guide put on a video of traditional Hungarian dance (lots of Hungarians here) It was like epileptic River Dance with lots of knee and foot slapping and frantic sawing on the violin at high speed. It is all male and they yell Oi Oi at the top of their lungs and clap like crazy doing gay hand movements.  It is exhausting and ear-splitting watching it.   Still you also have the beauty of the medieval towns and architecture, the frozen lakes, dramatic gorges, the gushing Vulva River, 700 year old fresco-covered ancient monasteries, Onion Domed churches and pointed spires covered in coloured tiles.

Today we are in Dracula’s birthplace; a delightful town called  SIGISOARA but pronounced SIGI-SHWARA.  It is the most delightful evocative walled town with a clock tower to make you weep it is so Hansel and Gretel gorgeous. There isn’t a straight line in the whole town and it feels like you have stepped back into a Grimm’s fairy-tale.

And it’s another sparklingly crisp cold blue-sky day with snow melting and rooves dripping.

We went to Dracula’s death place yesterday and did a an underground cave tour to see his purported coffin which of course was bollocks but still fun. Mid guide’s speech “He” jumped out of his coffin roaring at us and we all soiled ourselves and ran off screaming and I’m sure I trampled someone underfoot.
We have passed a myriad of brightly coloured houses – they like inflamed pink, citrus green and strident puce mainly. With a red or blue roof.
They need to pass some council by-laws quickly and teach them about block colours. It is like a hallucinogenic trip.
Yesterday was Sunday so all the Babushkas in scarves, the youths with shaved
heads, the tarty teens, the old men with tired eyes, the gypsies,
the Ivanas in stilettos and lycra and the scruffy ruffian kids were out sunning
themselves and staring at us.
We are utter celebs here. On Wednesday they are having a press conference
with us and the Minister of Tourism in Bucharest can you believe it. I must try to behave……

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